Story for Bedtime
At bedtime a grandmother told her two grandsons a Bible story. One night she said, "Tonight we're going to talk about sin. Do you know what the word sin means?" Seven-year-old Keith spoke up. "It's when you do something bad." Four-year-old Aaron's eyes widened. "I know a big sin Keith did today." Annoyed, Keith turned to Aaron. "You take care of your sins, and I'll take care of mine."

The Church Organist
Hannah, country church organist for many years, had taken to falling asleep during the sermon. As she was loved by all, this fault was easily overlooked. Besides, the position of the organ at the east end of the platform kept her out of view from the congregation's normal line of vision.
One Sunday as the sermon was building to a climax, the minister swung his arm forcefully and cried: "Look to the East!" The congregation, following his gesture, gasped and then chuckled softly. There sat Hannah, head back and mouth open, fast asleep! The minister regained his composure and concluded his message with equal poise. Hannah awoke at her usual time and played the closing hymn, forever unaware of what had happened.

Asking for Directions
Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two Americans just stare at him.
”Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."
"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."